Though I hardly feel ready, it’s time to go back to work. My short-term disability leave for my thyroid surgery ends tomorrow, and I’ll still need to use a week of my “vacation” time to cover being out for my surgery on Friday; leaving me with three (plus a couple extra hours) work days in between (tomorrow through Thursday). I’m not going to lie, I’m exhausted and not just physically. Running more than a single errand totally wears me out; today at the grocery store I couldn’t remember my ATM password (with a growing line behind me) and told him to just run it as credit. My neck is still very tight-feeling, like I’m being strangled, it hurts to turn to the left, and my incision feels scratchy and like needle pokes. On the plus slide after consulting McPreppy about going crazy, I cut my Prednisone dose in half and now feel mostly sane. It would be fairly manageable, and IS fairly manageable, if I were on my way to feeling better. Or at least towards a weekend of feeling better, but instead I’m headed towards feeling much worse.
The basic conundrum is that each of my leave periods is treated as an isolated occurrence, when in reality the recovery periods overlap. Each surgery/treatment is being handled by a separate doctor and so therefore entails completely separate disability paperwork and each doctor is required to authorize the period of leave I need to recover for only THAT procedure they are overseeing; as with many failed Environmental Impact Statements, there is no consideration of cumulative impacts. So whereas, if I say, wasn’t having surgery first thing Friday morning, I would be feeling fairly optimistic that I could get back on track. Or at least catch up with “regular life” (and by “regular life” I mean all the things we let slide while I was resting – such as stocking the fridge with the basics, cleaning, and that dreaded quarterly trip to Suburbia to the “stuff store” [i.e. Target])]. Not to mention all the holiday planning and preparations! But instead this weekend I’ll be in surgery and then once again fairly immobilized all over again.
Which is why I felt like this past weekend through today was my final chance to “catch up” to “fall behind”. And I think I’ve done a pretty good job of it (if I do say so myself). I seem to be almost ready for surgery again, if not ready for a full day’s work tomorrow. But first, I think I hear the couch calling me (it will miss me these next three days I’m sure!).